3 Years

Today I have 3 years clean. That’s means that I have not used drugs or alcohol in 1,095 days. I would never have made it here without my program and the people who love and support me. It’s incredible. Addicts can and do recover every day and I’m living proof of that. The hope is everywhere if you know where to look for it. I lead a productive, positive, happy life today and that was never possible while I was in active addiction. I am blessed to have lived to see this day. God knows many of my friends did not and many more will die while there is an answer out there. To any addict still struggling: I promise you it is possible to live clean and not be bored. You can be happy. You can live your life instead of just surviving it. To any family members of addicts: They can get help. But the road to recovery is different for everyone and the pain will have to become great enough for them to want to stop. You can’t make them. Pray for them. Love them. But don’t enable. It will not help them. You’ll just be robbing them of the rock bottom they may need to hit in order to bring them to a place where they’re finally done. 

I am truly grateful to be alive to see this day. I never expected to live this long and I was okay with thinking I was going to die for a long time. Today I fight for my life. I fight for my recovery. I fight to stay clean. I fight to be a better person than I was yesterday. I have integrity, am accountable and responsible, and live honestly today. I have come a long fucking way and been through a lot but I didn’t use. No matter what. 

  

In this life, the greatest things are typically gained one day at a time. 

 

Me, still getting high in 2009ish
 

And me with 3 years clean 🙂

by Ashley Hebner

© All Rights Reserved 2016 

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18 thoughts on “3 Years

  1. Wow! You are an incredible person, and I’m sure an inspiration to many people struggling. More people need to realize that there are people like you. You are so strong. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thank you for reading! And for the compliments. The only thing I hope for is that maybe, just maybe, one addict who’s struggling reads this and at least considers that a good life is possible. You know? I’m not some shrink with no real life experience. I’m not a fraud. I’m a straight up drug addict. How I ended up one or what I used or did while I was using is irrelevant. I’m still an addict; meaning I’m a person who suffers from the disease of addiction which is characterized by obsessive, compulsive, and INSANE behavior. It’s a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical disease that erodes all those elements of a person’s being whilst convincing them that they’re perfectly okay. I KNOW what it’s like to live life like that and know I’m gonna die that way and be okay with it and I’ve also since LEARNED what it’s like to survive to the other side. I just hope someone can see that and realize I’m not just some fake who’s talking out of my ass and that maybe it’s possible for them too.

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  2. Congratulations on three years! That’s so huge. I’ve been to a lot of meetings, and I’ve seen people who had gotten their one year tag come back later for their one month. (Just keep coming) Three years is awesome. One day at a time. You can do it.

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    1. I have seen the same thing many times. Just saw one at my home group on Wednesday actually. What really sucks is those people, they’re the lucky ones. Most never make it back.

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  3. I am so proud of you! My beautiful, brilliant, kind, empathetic, bat-shit-crazy, talented, funny, respectful, honest, stubborn, spiritual, pain in the ass, genuine, teachable, work-in-progress, gifted daughter.
    Holy shit! You’re just like me! ;o)

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