When It All Hurts Too Much…

When the life that you built becomes an argument of guilt. Who’s at fault? Who did this? Who argues their side in better sentences?

When everything you’ve worked for is crushed into dust. Why did this happen? Where did we fail? Where is the fucking trust?

When all the late nights, tear-filled hurting eyes, and begging not to fight, turns into exactly…. Nothing.

When you’ve discussed it, compromised, and forgiven a million times. When none of that matters; this is where relationships go to die.

When no can empathize, because they only see their side. When heart break becomes a brick, thrown haphazardly through your life.

When all the faith that should be there, and all the trust that used to be, and all the love you felt.. Is invisible, like gravity.

When your history doesn’t matter and your character isn’t considered; when who you are as a person, is buried under the bitter.

When the talks you had mean nothing, the agreements no longer valid, because someone got afraid, and left these things out of the balance.

When respect goes out the window, and compassion disappears. When empathy is hidden, and your pain falls on deaf ears.

When the agony is crushing. When betrayal feels bone deep. When the pain is suffocating and you’d do anything to breathe. 

When the love in their eyes is glazed over with anger, when this person you love transforms to a stranger. When the thing you’ve talked about becomes labeled a danger. When you can’t understand how this love became fatal.

When a beautiful thing is questioned and slandered as an “angle“. When your pleas for understanding, are seen as manipulation. When showing your side somehow means “not seeing theirs”. When everything’s just words. And nothing is fucking fair.

When the truth is buried, underneath mountains of their fear. When they come out swinging with worries that they never let you hear. When they told half truths and glazed over the hard parts, all to turn around and use these things to divide hearts.

When an epic love story becomes a “risks and benefits assessment“. When the feelings are removed, the facts are tainted, and all your left with is a fucking lesson.

This is where relationships go, when they’re argued right out of existence.

When you feel like you should’ve stayed single. Because there’s never this pain in solitude. Maybe you just can’t be loved. And this whole fucking thing was to prove it to you.

When it all hurts way too much, because you really, truly believed, that this one was “going to be different”.

But now it hurts more than anything.


by Ashley Hebner

© All Rights Reserved 2016

Featured image courtesy of http://hatakeyondaime.deviantart.com/art/Pain-and-Pain-341763657

Above image courtesy of http://www.touchofart.eu/en/Mariusz-Lewandowski/mle46-Pain/

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6 thoughts on “When It All Hurts Too Much…

  1. I totally relate to every word of this post. And i am at that stage where I think the “end” has come. And yet… it’s hard to just get used to this idea, and the feeling of loss, and the hard-to-describe feeling of emptiness when (if?) the ties are cut definitely off.
    Thank you for these words that are making me think a lot…

    Like

    1. You’re welcome. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s not a fun place to be, that’s for sure. Some things just aren’t meant to last forever and when we try to make them, people get hurt. That’s only my experience. All I can say is that I hope the greatest and highest good that can come out of your situation, does. Human beings don’t like change and we’re always afraid of loss. It’s just human nature, and sometimes it’s very painful. But for me, when it hits the point that I was at when I wrote this, it’s over; and both people are just waiting to rip the bandaid off out of that fear of the unknown. But I wish you the best of luck.

      Liked by 1 person

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