A Little Intro…

I’m just a laid back woman who likes expressing myself through various mediums, partially so I don’t explode and start punching people. But also, writing is my outlet, my coping mechanism, my friend, my life-saver. Now my goal is to transform it into something I can share, as I’ve never done that before. I also want to use it to make myself stop and live my life, the way I see fit.

I’m 26. I live in Chester County, Pennsylvania. Friday, January 13th of 2017 I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Torvi Mahlia. She’s my greatest blessing and a true miracle. Being a mother is the best thing I’ve ever done and ever will do. I have never experienced a love so deep, so all encompassing, so extreme. I would kill and die for her in an instant. She’s the most important part of my life. Other than being a mother, I’m just a normal human being. I’m a strong woman, with a not-so-normal story, who wants to lead a happy, peaceful life doing the things I love.

I’m a recovering addict and it’s a passion of mine to attempt to change the stigma that is attached to the disease of addiction. I’ve dedicated a large portion of my life to helping other addicts, educating non-addicts, and maintaining my own recovery. I have not used drugs or alcohol since April 2, 2013. Getting clean was one the hardest (and second most rewarding) things I’ve ever done.

I’ve been blessed to lead a life where I’ve experienced (or been exposed to) many things. I’ve seen what I’m convinced is close to “it all”. I’ve held many, many titles in life; ranging from “mother” to “daughter”, “addict”, “girlfriend”, and “sister” to “tattoo artist”, “writer”, “sponsor”, and many more. I’m a little bit of everything and the in-between. I try to take all of this and turn it into words. Writing makes me happy and as mentioned above, is one of the tools I’m using on this journey to not only surviving my life, but living (and enjoying) it. So, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m not doing this for your approval, fame, or money (although I would totally be okay with someone paying me for it :)). This is just “mine”, and if someone else happens to enjoy it or take something away from it, well then that’s a bonus.

I write a lot of poems, rants, opinion pieces, and outright randomness. I’m imperfect at best; I drive too fast,  drink my weight in coffee, and cuss like a sailor. With me, what you see is what you get.

For more, check out my blog posts. There’s a little bit of everything, told through the perspective of my life experience.

Much love y’all.

 

31 thoughts on “A Little Intro…

  1. Just discovered your page after someone posted your piece about the never ending addiction argument. I loved it and totally agree with your take. I’ve managed to stay clean and sober in a 12 step program for 7 years. It works foe ME but also know it’s not for everyone. I’ve stopped reading all the stuff out there and just stay out of the fight over what’s right and wrong. If it works for YOU just keep doing it. I’m tired of people dying and I’m sick of funerals. Keep spreading the word we need to all help each other not make the fight us versus them. I’m ready to read some of your other posts. Thanks, peace.

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    1. Thank you for your comment! I myself am coming up on 3 years clean, also because of a 12 step program. A program in which I completely believe in. But like my post said I don’t think that renders any other treatment option useless. I also agree that I’m sick of funerals. I wish I could live my life without hearing what a mother who’s lost her child sounds like, what her eyes look like. It’s a terrible thing. I’m just one voice but maybe, if we all speak out, one less person will die of this disease. And one person is the entire world to combine. Again, thank you for your comment. All feedback is greatly appreciated! Have a good one Joe 🙂

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  2. Hi, I just came across your blog via the community pool.
    Your reasons for writing are similar to mine, I also intend to create an income from it.
    I look forward to reading more, have a great day.
    Amy💕

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  3. Great intro, now I’m hooked and ‘have’ to follow your thoughts here. Get this: I’m from a large family of addicts: drugs, alcohol and sex – yet myself totally immune to any of it. Never smoked, never tried drugs (not even prescription – on the rare occasions I was given those I ditched them in the garbage), never was drunk, though I do enjoy a beer or a glass of wine with company. But my 6 siblings and my dad: all alcoholics, a couple drug addicts – all but two now recovered; my dad long dead. I don’t know what that says: I’m lucky? Yes, I am and I am thankful. My heart goes out to you but I can say this: never go back, no matter how terrible the temptation. You go back, just the once, and what was a hill becomes a mountain. I’ve been in the middle of it; still do from time to time, and it’s not fun.

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    1. No it’s not fun and I’m definitely never going back. Some people in my recovery group say you can’t say that but I disagree. I don’t say it because I think I’m immune now; I say it because I know I out the work in to not end up back there. I’ll have 3 years clean in 3 weeks and it’s staying that way. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and the desire to use never arises anymore. I have times where I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling but I just work through it, talk to the people I know who are like me, and keep it movin.

      You are lucky to have not ended up an addict. They’ve shown that it runs through families so you’re definitely blessed to be one of the few to have learned from their mistakes instead of your own. And it’s good you’re grateful for that. There’s no hell like a disease that convinces you you don’t have one. Thank you for the follow though! 🙂 I followed you back 🙂 Much Love ❤️ A

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  4. I just came across your posts and plan to continue reading. I also come from a family of addicts and understand it is a disease. My brother committed suicide and left his newly pregnant wife and 3 kids and unborn son alone to fend for themselves. My youngest daughter daughter age 24 and her boyfriend currently live with us and are addicted to heroin. Everyone says kick them out if they won’t quit! No one understands it is a disease! They have stolen everything I own and of course just say I’m sorry. I can at least sleep at night since they live here. Before they were on the streets and I never knew if they were dead or alive. I just want them to get help and quit but that is easier said than done. Keep writing! I can relate so well to what you say and your writings are beautiful!

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    1. I’m so sorry to hear how this disease has effected your life. It’s a terrible, insidious thing. People say to kick them out because why would would they get help when life is easier but that’s a choice only you can make. Some people have found that offering the home and support helped their children get better faster than when they took it away. To each their own. My heart is with you though and I pray they find recovery. In the meantime, get a safe, that bolts to the floor. Much love ❤️

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